Week 10 Blog Reviews

Amity:

Tragic Events of Recall – 10/19

First off, I would like to say I’m looking forward to being in your group for this unit and I hope I can offer some support. I really loved this post, your voice and flare for writing really shines through. I agree with Hilary in the sense that, I was a little confused also when reading who Jane – whether she was the mother or daughter. Other than that, the post was simple and to the point and was beautifully written. You were able to take a personal experience and twirl it into a sad story about recalls, good job!

Sing It – 10/21

I’m fascinated in how you are able to get to your point so precisely without seeming rushed. Your posts are well-written and clearly lay out your point without an extra (unnecessary) fluff. This article has a great introduction, overlaying what you’ll be talking about and then you quickly cut to your point and bring about the important part that even though women are stereotyped in the music industry – women artists do the same thing to men. Each party is to blame and that is a very valid point to include in this post. I have no suggestions, this post was awesome and I’m a little intimidated about being in your group, haha!

Hilary:

The Joys of a Consumer – 10/19

Firstly, I would like to say that I’m looking forward to being in this unit 3 peer group with you. I hope I can offer some support and criticism throughout this unit. I loved this post (great job on the images!) because you seem to layer the story very nicely. As a reader it was easy to follow and understand your frustration. The last paragraph seemed to wrap up very quickly – maybe it would strengthen your point with a little bit more of a conclusion. However, this was more of a narrative piece anyway so maybe my suggestion isn’t necessary haha. Other than that, this post was very interesting to read and you did great finding real life examples for consumerism.

Women in Music – 10/21

Likewise, I also enjoyed this post. Your point comes out very clearly and you pulled from the text to explain and support your writing. It was easy to read and understand why you felt this way versus another way. My only suggestion would be to add a little bit more of an introduction – maybe just a sentence or two about the music industry, it’s not necessary but it may give more organizational support to your post. Great job!